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I know, you're wondering how I do it--how did I manage to create the most awesome appliance repair website on the internet and be such a stud-muffin all at the same time?  My secret:  beer.  Lots and lots of beer.  Here's your chance to contribute to my debauchery.

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Saturday, November 30, 2002

I'm Not Dead...Yet

i'm too busy lookin' good!Man, I gotta hand it to those terrorists: they did a good job when they made this virus I've got. It's sneaky--just when I think I'm getting better, it sucker punches me, leaving me writhing like a purple worm on a hot road and gagging into the puke bucket.

I haven't been much fun to be around or to look at.

I want you to memorize these five words and repeat them to yourself like a mantra, "I want my smallpox vaccine." That's going to be the epitaph on my tombstone. Live footage from Hell coming soon.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 22:14 ET.  [permalink]
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Wednesday, November 27, 2002

Blowing a Gasket!

I'm so psyched (or is that psychotic?)--I got the gasket fabrication table built! I just need to add a few amenities like an exhaust vent to carry away those nasty VOCs that are released when you weld the rubber gasket pieces together (otherwise, you get tumors in your lymph nodes). That was a big project and I'm glad to see it finally coming together. I'm on track to be knocking on doors in December for custom gasket work. I'll go out prospecting and making measurements one or two days. Then I'm in the shop for a day making the gaskets and I schedule to go back out to the restaurant, hospital, college, jail, whatever, and install the gaskets. It's a cool setup, I'll take pictures and post 'em sometime.

I've been so busy getting the gasket shop together that I haven't done much with the website or forum. There's only one of me and I gotta put my energies into what'll pay the bills and put food on the table. I need a clone. Any volunteers?

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 23:25 ET.  [permalink]
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Bio-Engineered Terrorist Designer Disease

As I sit here writing this, I'm convulsing in pain as an invisible hand grabs and twists my bowels. Every joint and muscle in my body aches. And still I write this post as the ultimate futile act of defiance against the bio-engineered designer terrorist disease that threatens to consume my pitiful life. Damn, terrorism sucks. But I'll be dead soon. See you in Hell.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 22:58 ET.  [permalink]
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Thursday, November 14, 2002

The Samurai School of Appliantology

This is our clever name for our do-it-yourself appliance repair forum. This post explains how to access the forum. Please keep reading.

Due to the higher cost of maintaining the Samurai School of Appliantology, we've changed from an open forum to membership-by-approval forum. Each page view from non-supporting members costs us money. Since I'm running this forum out of the kindness of my heart and my own pocket, that's just not a sustainable situation now, is it? Like the saying goes, "There's no free lunch," and the cyber world is no exception.

So, how do you become a member? Easy as pie, comrade! Follow these three easy steps:

  1. Give $10 or more to the United Samurai Beer Fund. A $10 contribution is good for one year. A $20 contribution is good for three years. And with a contribution of $30 or more, you get lifetime appliance repair support at this website plus 12,500 FREE ad impressions at! If you contribute through Paypal, I receive the notification instantly in my email and can approve you sooner.
  2. Register for a free Ezboard account. The Samurai School is hosted by Ezboard and you need to have an Ezboard account to access the forum. Don't worry, it's painless and free.
  3. After you've created your Ezboard account, email me your account name. Once we've received your Beer Fund contribution, I can log into Ezboard and admit you into the Samurai School.

In the School, you'll find answers to thousands of appliance repair questions on all types of major kitchen and laundry appliance. You can also do a search to find the information you're looking for. Many of the threads include photos and diagrams.

If you've already given to the United Samurai Beer Fund and would like access to the repair forum, just email me and I'll approve you. If you paid by Paypal, make sure you email me from the same email address from which you made your Paypal contribution so I can look you up. If you previously mailed in a check, include your full name and mailing address when you email me.

If you're already a member (i.e., you've already posted in the forum), go ahead and log in here.

Ok, then, talk to you later. Live long and prosper.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 09:46 ET.  [permalink]
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Wednesday, November 13, 2002

Clawing my way out of Computer Hell

It's been a tough haul out of the mess that the Yahoo Intellisync program made on my computer (Intellisync lets you synchronize your Palm calendar with with a database on the internet so Grasshoppers could look at it and Mrs. Samurai could add things like watching the kids to it.) I had to completely reformat my hard drive...several times, and do a clean reinstall of Windows. The system still wasn't stable so I had to take it back to Dr. Tim, the designer and builder of my awesome computer, for major surgery. He chanted Hare Krisha over it and sprinkled it with magic Woofle dust and got it running right again. But I've emerged from that disaster with a more robust system. We now have four computers networked together and connected to a broadbad internet connection through a router. Another benefit of the router is that it's a hardware firewall, so all the computers are protected from malicious probes.

Haven't been doing much 'pooting lately. Been busy getting my shop set up for the gasket fabrication service I'll be launching soon. It's been a lot of back-breaking work clearing out the basement, throwing out four full-size pickup truck loads full of accumulated junk, making room for the 4' by 8' gasket fabrication table that I have yet to build. The pallet of gasket stock, magnets, and the gasket welder were all delivered by freight truck yesterday. They're being stored outside under several tarps, hopefully impervious to the steady rain we've had for the last two days. I'll move them into the workshop tomorrow and they'll stay there until the fabrication table is built, hopefully later this week. Stay tuned for some exciting pictures.

In keeping with my migration away from Yahoo, I've given myself over to the Dark Side and jumped into the MSN camp with both feet:

  • I'm using a Hotmail account for my main email client and will eventually close the Yahoo account as important email gets switched over to Hotmail. My Hotmail address is Use it in good faith.
  • I deleted the Appliantology group at Yahoo Groups and reincarnated it in MSN Groups. After I've finished the housekeeping (e.g., uploading photos and files, adding links, customizing the appearance, etc.) I'll open it up for the Grasshoppers to peruse and join
  • I even downloaded and installed the new MSN 8 software. It's pretty cool but all the features don't work in the downloaded version so I'm waiting for the CD to arrive. If it does all it's hyped up to do, it'll be well worth the $10/month. And, by the way, it includes its own version of Intellisync so I can give it another shot.
  • I pinned up a 4' x 7' blowup of Bill Gates' face on the wall directly behind my monitor so I can always feel the imperious gaze of the Master. We are Borg, resistance is futile.

Another change I've made is to change the forum from an open forum where anyone could post to a Membership-By-Admission (MBA) forum. To be approved for membership, you have to contribute to the United Samurai Beer Fund. Details on this coming in another post.

With a computer workstation installed downstairs now, I can listen to while I'm working down here. My favorite stations are Radio Prank . Com and ((( HaLLuCiNoGeNiC ))). Radio Prank has some really funny schtick on it and it's well worth the $5/month subscription to to get it.

More coming soon, stay tuned.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 01:40 ET.  [permalink]
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Tuesday, November 05, 2002

Crash n' Burn!

Fighting through a major computer crash. Everything was running far too good to just leave it alone. So, like an idiot, I downloaded and installed Yahoo Intellesync yesterday so I could access my Palm schedule online. The program overwrote several files critical to Windows and cut off my cable modem connection (I'm posting this entry via the dialup connection that we keep on my wife's computer as a backup) and my computer has been a trash heap ever since. Windows won't even re-install itself. I think I'm going to have to do a low-level fixed disk re-format which means I'll lose all my data. The icing on the cake is that I have no backup. It's going to be a long fight back up.

I hereby damn Yahoo and all it's manifestations to Hell. I will no longer be using Yahoo Messenger or any other Yahoo service that I can reasonably avoid. I will also be deleting the Appliantology group as soon as I am able. I will re-direct all email to my hotmail account and my Yahoo mailbox will soon cease to exist. I will curse them with every breath. May Yahoo find itself being slowly squeezed to death by its more worthy competitors, AOL and MSN. May a thousand viruses and DoS attacks infest their servers so they can have a taste of the extreme hassle they've caused me. Die, Yahoo! Die!

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 10:08 ET.  [permalink]
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Sunday, November 03, 2002

Back At It

Back from my trip to Waco. Good trip, bad flight, same old story. But I'm back, re-oriented and re-focused. I'll be starting back up the service side of my bidness but doing commercial appliance gasket replacement. It's a very mundane sounding but highly specialized and profitable niche bidness.

All my residential appliance repair work will be done exclusively through this website. Commercial appliance repair work pays more and has a higher profit margin than residential work. The thing you always run up against in residential work is "How much is a new one?" The economics of an in-home appliance repair business is that it usually costs more just to get your trained technician butt into someone's home than they're usually willing to pay to have their appliance repaired. That's usually not an option in the commercial world where everything needs to be fixed yesterday. This allows the service company to charge a fair rate for expert on-site repairs.

So, my efforts over the next several weeks will be in setting up my shop for commercial gasket fabrication. The gasket welder and stock are being shipped from Waco. I should be selling my first gasket replacement job well before the end of the year. Wish me luck!

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 00:26 ET.  [permalink]
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