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  • About
    Is this an appliance repair website or is it just a sad and twisted showcase for a delusional personality disorder?

  • The United Samurai Beer Fund®
    Yo, Mon, if this website helped you in your quest for appliance enlightenment, then help keep the buzz alive and give to the United Samurai Beer Fund®--it's your ticket out of Lower Slabovia.

  • Weird Forum Posts
    What am I, flypaper for freaks? Who ARE these people and how do they find me?

  • Mega-Money Wealth Building System®
    Build wealth using this time-tested and proven system.

  • Haikus for Appliance Repair
    Haikus are a Japanese poetic form developed for very lazy or very bad poets. That's why I write them. We here at are proud to announce that we alone, out of all the other websites in the whole universe, have finally found a real use for the slothful haiku.

  • Samurai on Assignment
    As many of you know, the CIA frequently calls upon the Samurai for special assignments to defend truth, justice, and the American Way. Here is an on-going collection of my mission reports for the various assignments I've completed.

  • Lessons in Liberty
    Short lessons in the American heritage of Liberty to help you cut through all the Orwellian doublespeak polluting your brain.

  • Rules of Etiquette at
    Even we here at have manners...ok, so we're not the most elegant freakin' people on the planet but at least we don't blow our nose in a kleenex and look at it...usually.

  • Maintaining a Healthy Mental Attitude for Appliance Repair
    Let's face it, repairing your appliances can be frustrating and mentally exhausting. These practical, time-honored techniques can keep you from succumbing to "Violent Appliance Death Syndrome" (VADS)--this tragic disease results in the merciless beating death of the appliance with a 10# sledge hammer by the frustrated DIYer. It is always fatal for the appliance and, ultimately, hugely embarrassing for the diseased individual.

  • Things My Customers Love to Hear Me Say
    Here's a small, touching collection of things I tell my customers to express my true, inner feelings for them. I love you, man, and I care alot!

  • Cheesedorks
    Also known as Lower Slabovians. As customers, I love sending 'em to my competitors. As users of this website, well, you know who you are.

  • How to Tell if Your Appliance Tech is a Redneck
    Is Bubba or Skeeter in your home "fixing" your broken appliances? This indispensable reference will help you see the difference between the bubbas and the real professionals.

  • How to Tell if Your Appliance Tech is a Cheese Head (not to be confused with a cheesedork, which is a type of customer or website user)
    Ya hey dere, Sven, ya needin' an appliance fixed, ey?

  • Affirmations for Effective Appliance Repair
    Is repairing your broken appliance kicking your butt? Feeling like you may not be able to finish this one? These affirmations are proven to be extremely effective at kindling the confidence needed to tackle the toughest problems. Come with me now on a journey of unlimited potentiality. I'm not sure what the heck that means but it sho' nuff sounds reeel purdy, don't it, Hoss?

  • Things I've learned as an Appliance Tech
    Drink deeply from my personal well of wisdom.

  • The Samurai's Photo Albums
    For your viewing pleasure, the Samurai has opened his enchanting collection of his recent hikes in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Oh, come ye and revel in this rhapsody of mountain images!

Keep the buzz alive!
The United Samurai Beer Fund:  because a mind is a terrible thing to not be wasted.
The United Samurai Beer Fund®

the bamboo reveals all
Broken appliance?
Samurai Repair Man writes
Haikus you can use.

This ain't yo momma's piggy bank, suckah....
It's like rubber neckin' at a car wreck!
but it AWWTA be!

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